But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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