Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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