We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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