FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
