10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
