Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And then he peed in my hair
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