I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize