You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
