Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
