She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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