if i can run in heels then i can drive
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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