I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize