i would punch a child for taco bell
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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