i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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