last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
