these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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