He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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