I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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