How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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