you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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