i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ðð