I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?