Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think I just sharted jello shots
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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