so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.