he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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