Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
