You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize