i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize