My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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