Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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