Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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