A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
