Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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