Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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