And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
