turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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