This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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