Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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