just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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