I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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