They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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