Where did you get a picture of my penis
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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