Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
