Cold hands, warm shart.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
