i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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