oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I pour the whiskey from now on
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
