i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
