It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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