Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
