that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
