It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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