Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
