I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
