No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
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You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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