Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
