I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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