i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
