I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
