Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
