We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
