Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize